my research paper

The First Airplane: Affecting the World Today
The Wright brothers revolutionized the world. The airplane makes the world a whole lot “smaller”. Before they built the airplane, they created the print and press and began there own newspaper in 1889. They also began there own bicycle shop in 1892 and began manufacturing there own brand in 1896. First they experimented with kites, and “had worked out the key issue for flight: control” (wright-house.com). “German aviator Otto Lilienthal died in a glider crash, but his pioneering work showed that manned flight was feasible” (wright-house.com). After hearing about the news, the brothers and a French aviation researcher, Octave Chanute, experimented with gliders in the sand dunes of the shore of Lake Michigan. After a little experimenting, the brothers interest in flight has been renewed and went to gather everything and read everything they could about flight and began experimenting on there own. In the race to create the first plane, one of many things they searched for was stability. The brothers created an ingenious invention of “wing-warping”. “If the pilot wanted to bank a turn to the left, the wings could be warped to provide more lift on the wings on the right side of the biplane. The brothers worked out a system for 3-axis control that is still used today on fixed-wing aircraft” (wright-house.com). Figuring such an equation out was amazing, man being able to fly was incredible, not even imaginable. When the Wright brothers got airborne, everybody was amazed and the two became instant celebrities. However, with the Wright brothers being very publicity conscious, after their first day of successful flights, they sent a telegram to their sister to publish in the local newspaper. “Success four flights thursday morning all against twenty one mile wind started from Level with engine power alone average speed through air thirty one miles longest 57 seconds inform Press home Christmas; (telegram) The newsman read it, and said to come back after they achieved flight for 57 minutes. Apparently 57 seconds wasn’t much of an accomplishment to the newsman, but this didn’t hold them back from showing there plane off to the public. The Wright brothers did public demonstrations in New York and Parris, but once there airplanes were on display, it was very easy for people to copy. So it was to late for the two to patent the plane. The Wright brothers changed the world in so many ways by finding out how man can fly.
First of all, how does the airplane not effect the world today? Some may say that we could live the same way we do today without an airplane, it would save us from many troubles that we have, but in the end, without it, we wouldn’t have many luxuries that we have today, but in balance, also many other struggles we must accept. The airplane simply makes the world a whole lot “smaller”. It has shortened what would be a two week trip to only eight hours. This allows people to travel to places they would never be able to before the airplane such as Parris or Tokyo. Immigrants could now also return to what country they came from now after moving to there new country. Tourism exploded when people could travel to one place to another so easily too. Transferring goods from one country to another is now easier too. But also disease was easier to trade off too. Also terrorism became a new problem in the world because of the advances in war tactics.

” Terrorism is best thought of as a modern phenomenon.” (Amy Zalman, Ph.D.) The moment people think of terrorism in America, people think of 9/11. They think of suicide bombing and religion, but that is a flaw in society today. Ever since such an incident happened in the United States, people have been mislead what terrorism is. Terrorism has been around since mankind has been around. A reason behind terrorism is to strike fear into the people or try and make the nation theirs. “A terrorist’s goal is to spread fear, panic and instability through a populace” (towson.edu). It’s an attempt to corrupt or destroy of any sort, from blowing up a building to assassinating a prime minister.
The first form of “terrorism” was in Rome, where the idea of assassins were brought up. To secretly kill someone, “key enemy leader at the certain sacrifice of his own life (the killers waited next to their victims to be killed or captured) inspired fearful awe in their enemies” (terrorism-research.com). To kill a person was much easier to destroy a building because one only needed a knife to do so, to destroy large buildings would take large catapults and boulders, unless it was flammable a fire was needed.
So along with the advances in terrorism, the way war is looked at has changed as well. At first, planes were used to transport supplies to troops in the battlefield. Then soon became fighter aircraft being armed with machineguns, bombs, or even cannons. The Italians were the first to use aircraft in war, using them in 1911 during the Italo-Turkish war in Libya. Mostly used for re-con purposes, the aircraft evolved, as did military strategy. Airplanes were developed by other nations to shoot down aircraft of the other side, and anti-aircraft devices were created to take down enemy aircraft. After that, the airplane had its place in war. Planes were able to bomb targets from the sky, and offer intelligence that wasn't able to be gained on the ground without engaging in serious battles. Planes are effective because people can use them without risking as many men, and if the enemy doesn't have good anti-aircraft, you can fight an entire battle by just bombing some targets and getting out of there (historyonthenet.com).
Defending against other nations became extremely difficult as well. Being able to attack from the sky now nullified any fortifications as a protection from an attack. For thousands of year’s moats, huge walls, castles, and other massive structures could protect an attack. Also “natural” barriers such as mountains and rivers weren’t a very reliable for defense. This also allows the process of moving troops much easier. Gaining intelligence also became tremendously easier, with the use of aircraft. Being able to take a picture from an eye in the sky enabled an army to determine troop placement, movement, and strength accurately with photos. With this new tactic added to the fundamentals to war, war has one more type of destruction, land, water, and now air.
Disease has also found a new way around the world. Airplanes allowed disease to go across the globe with ease. A great example is bird flu, the disease is spread by “Direct contact with infected waterfowl or other infected poultry, contact with surfaces (such as dirt or cages), or materials (such as water or feed) that have been contaminated with the virus” (virus.emedtv.com). The major problem was in southeast Asia, so the Americas should have no worries about it, but thanks to airplanes, people from the region would fly over to the Americas and could spread the disease and around the world and cause a world epidemic, but thanks to the luxuries brought by the airplane allows the epidemic not to happen and helps avoid the world from blowing itself up.
We can spoil ourselves with the shipping of fresh/frozen foodstuffs all around the world, so that one can now have fresh strawberries in the Tierra del Fuego, Mouton Cadet in Ulan Bator and smoked herring in the Congo (travelsur.net). The world can spread is knowledge so much more easier, allowing doctors to share medicines and help students to study abroad. Airplanes send mail across the world to find out how one’s family is doing, without it, that person may never know how his/her grandparents are doing. It speeds up the constant change in the world. It impacts the “style” of the clothes we wear and the trends that stretch around the world. It allows people to influence others around the world and we may as well not even know it. It effected how we view the world. It created modernism.
A blessing has been brought upon us, but the same blessing has been our curse. It makes the world more uniform and standardized. It helps us find true meaning in life but imposes our morals and traditions. It makes our world smaller but can bring families apart. War and terrorism has scared people out of there pants, but allows people to get pants from around the world. Is the airplane worth the risks we take? Whether it does or not, without a doubt, the Wright brothers changed the world by finding out how man can fly.

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flamix13 wrote:

The Wright brothers did public demonstrations in New York and Parris, but once there airplanes were on display, it was very easy for people to copy.

Line 26

flamix13 wrote:

This allows people to travel to places they would never be able to before the airplane such as Parris or Tokyo.

I've just read about half of your research paper and I think you've got some spelling corrections to do unless you are talking about the company Parris. There also might be some other errors besides spelling, but I'm just to lazy to think about all the other proofreading stuff. Oh and by the way it's Paris France not Parris.

flamix13 wrote:

The Wright brothers revolutionized the world. The airplane makes the world a whole lot “smaller”.

This part strikes me as a series of very short statements that could be combined into 1 long, smooth sentence rather than very short, abrupt sentences.

flamix13 wrote:

First of all, how does the airplane not effect the world today?

*Affect with an "A", not an "E" (unless there's Shotty thinks this is ok?)

flamix13 wrote:

Some may say that we could live the same way we do today without an airplane, it would save us from many troubles that we have, but in the end, without it, we wouldn’t have many luxuries that we have today, but in balance, also many other struggles we must accept.

For some reason the wording of the last part of this sentence seems odd to me (starting at "but in balance"), but I could be just me?

flamix13 wrote:

But also disease was easier to trade off too. Also terrorism became a new problem in the world because of the advances in war tactics.

I personally don't think of disease as something that is involved in a "trade" but maybe "but also disease was more easily spread globally"? And I usually put a comma after that "also."

I don't have time to read the rest for now, but something I noticed throughout the paper is you using "there" when it should be "THEIR." So check for spelling and grammatical errors along with certain ways that your sentences are worded?

Quote :

The Wright brothers revolutionized the world. The airplane makes the world a whole lot “smaller”.

Combine these two sentences, it's really bad to have two somewhat repetitive sentences of simple structure be the introduction to your paper.

Quote :

they created the print and press

I'm sure you meant the printing press, and these guys weren't the ones that invented the printing press.

Quote :

began there own newspaper

THEIR.

Quote :

They also began there own bicycle shop in 1892 and began manufacturing there own brand in 1896.

THEIR. THEIR.

Quote :

First they experimented with kites, and “had worked out the key issue for flight: control” (wright-house.com). “German aviator Otto Lilienthal died in a glider crash, but his pioneering work showed that manned flight was feasible” (wright-house.com).

These two sentences seem really disjointed from the previous section. Add some sort of transition sentence before this part.

Quote :

the brothers interest in flight

Apostrophe after the "s" in "brothers".

Quote :

and went to gather everything

Add "they" to clarify the subject.

Quote :

began experimenting on there own.

THEIR.

Quote :

The brothers created an ingenious invention of

This wording is really awkward, especially with the redundancy of "created" and "invention".

Quote :

Figuring such an equation out was amazing, man being able to fly was incredible, not even imaginable.

Try separating this into more than one sentence or cut out a clause or two.

Quote :

showing there plane off to the public

THEIR.



Got hungry after this; might correct more later.

Not gonna correct it. But... Less simple sentences, moar complex pls. And grammar and the differentiation between there and their and they're.

wow...
thanks loads people
already turned it in
hoping for the best

Shotty, have my babies <3

dear god, i can put my homework up and have it corrected

L0L

-WarTheory- wrote:

dear god, i can put my homework up and have it corrected

I actually made him download Teamviewer and I corrected the essay with him telling him why this or that was wrong over Teamspeak :p

echo is awsome kool like that x)